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Author Archive for Wander the Arctic

fomo.

I just started reading This Will Only Hurt a Little by Busy Phillips. I’m not even halfway through (give me a break, I just got the book yesterday) and I have already stored away several nuggets of wisdom.

One of the very first things that stuck with me was when she said its weird that fomo is a thing people say now. She has some deeper rooted fomo and honestly, same girl.

FOMO = Fear of missing out (get with the times, granny. jk. Urban Dictionary is my best friend).

People often talk about fomo when it comes to partying or hanging out with friends and its become quite trendy. But much like Busy, I do have some deeper rooted fomo. I have a hard time feeling what I like to call “social fomo” because I spent so much of my life being isolated that feeling left out eventually stopped bothering me. I have fear of missing out on the expectations I set for myself such as traveling the world. My biggest fear is that I’ll die before I get to travel to places like India, Taiwan, Iceland… I don’t really have fear of missing social activities though. Should I? Probably. It’s probably not healthy to dread socializing as much as I do sometimes. I absolutely love being by myself. Traveling by myself is my favorite because I can do whatever I want and I don’t have to be annoyed when someone else is “too tired” or “uninterested”. Usually, if I want to do something badly enough, I just do it. Which, is in fact fomo, just not the kind you’re used to hearing about. Literally if you google the meaning, it will say something about social media.

Reading Busy’s thoughts about this really got me thinking about my own. Another one of my favorite books How to Be a Bawse by Lilly Singh, also addresses fomo. Lilly talks about all the situations her brain made up one night when she needed to get rest and work instead of hanging out with friends. Months later when Lilly was staring at her face plastered all over Times Square, none of what she missed out on (or thought she missed out on) mattered.

I’m getting much better at not immediately buying a concert ticket or booking a cheap two day trip to somewhere just because I’m afraid my life isn’t exciting enough. Instead, I’m working on building a life that will allow me to experience bigger and better things because I know that one day when I’m boarding my flight to Taiwan for an epic adventure, I will absolutely not be thinking about that State Champs concert I “kind of” wanted to go to.

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Common Sense Skipped Me

If you know me in my daily life, you know that sometimes, well… common sense skipped me. Here is a list of things I legitimately learned in my 20’s that I probably should have know sooner. I hope you get a good laugh out of my stupidity.

Groundhogs are real. Until I was like… 22 or something, I had no idea that groundhogs were a real species of animal. I thought there was just one and it was just a famous fat rodent thing that they called a “groundhog”. Groundhogs are very real, friends.

Easter Famine. So, you know that phrase “feast or famine?” I always wondered why people talked about Easter famine so much. I didn’t even know there was an Easter famine. There wasn’t.

Saving For a Rainy Day. I didn’t realize until recently, like a couple months ago recently, that “saving for a rainy day” means like, an emergency fund. Not literally a rainy day like, “hey its raining, lets go to the museum.”

“Henry” is not an adjective. To this day, I don’t know why my parents would say I was “Henry” when I was tired but apparently thats not a real thing, just a them thing. Who knew? Everyone on the planet. Except for me.

That is all I can think of off the top of my head for stupid things I didn’t know. If you know me and you can think of more, comment them *cough* friends *cough cough*. Also comment yours. You got to laugh at me so now its my turn to laugh at you.

What Self Care Actually Is.

I feel like I see the words “self care” left and right and while I am so glad it is a thing that we are promoting, I just want to take a minute to address what self care actually is versus what it is promoted as. Let me say, self care can be taking care of your body or taking a relaxing bath, but it is so much more than buying half of Lush and watching a romantic comedy instead of working. There are so many more things that are self care that we don’t acknowledge so I am going to acknowledge them.

Self care is fueling your brain when you are uninspired. For me, self care was knowing that I felt creatively burnt out and watching a documentary about one of my idols to spark inspiration again.

Self care is taking small initiatives to make your life easier. For me, self care was knowing that I get frustrated 8 hours a day because I can’t find my work keys and purchasing a $2 key chain, solving the problem completely.

Self care is taking a deep breath and owning who you are instead of going to extreme efforts to hide. For me, self care was having a conversation with my new boss about my mental illness that way if I respond inappropriately to a stressful situation, she knows why and can approach the situation with a little background information.

Self care is brushing my hair when I’m depressed, something that is always the first thing I stop doing. Its educating myself after making a mistake to ensure that I don’t make that mistake twice. Its allowing myself to feel something irrational for a moment, but then cleaning up that mindset and moving on.

What do you guys do for self care? Whether it is washing your face every night or something completely profound that I never would have thought of, tell me! Take care of yourself, loves. xo

5 Of the Dumbest Purchases I’ve Made in My 20’s

I’ve seen this topic going around on YouTube and I have been watching all of them. Since I am not fancy enough to be a YouTuber, I thought I would write the blog post version. So here are the 5 dumbest purchases/financial mistakes I have made in my 20’s so far.

My Makeup Collection. I still have a large makeup collection, but it used to be like 5x the size. Having a lot of makeup would be justifiable- if I wore makeup everyday. I like wearing makeup. When I can get drag myself out of bed in enough time to put makeup on, I do. I feel better when I wear it. But the reality is, I just don’t wear it everyday and when I do, I wear the same look, using the same products. I still have probably 10 palettes and I do have a giant makeup bag and I am content with that. It is a lot, but not overwhelming. At one point, I owned a few thousand dollars worth of makeup. I sold the majority of it on Poshmark for a few hundred dollars. Now, I don’t buy anything unless I am completely out of it.

Celebrity Meet and Greets. Sometimes if you want to meet someone famous you look up to, there’s not going to be many opportunities outside of a meet and greet to do that. That isn’t the part that I think is dumb. I do, however think it’s dumb to pay for meet and greets and not go to them. It’s also dumb to spend hundreds of dollars over and over again to meet the same person.

My Apartment. It wasn’t the actual apartment that was the dumb financial decision. When you need a place to live, you kind of have to spend money. That’s how life works. It was incredibly dumb though, to invest a ton of money into decorating a place only to live there for 6 months. It’s also dumb to keep paying for the apartment after you move out (although, I didn’t have a choice in this situation).

My Associate’s Degree. Whether or not you think I wasted my money on college, in my eyes I did. I wasted a lot of money failing classes (I was so dumb in college) because I didn’t want to be there. I’m still paying off debt from this and if I hadn’t given in to the pressure I felt to continue my education, I would definitely be much better off. I’m not saying college is a mistake (no need to come for me), but for me it was, at least at that point in my life because I was taking (and failing) endless classes.

Paying for/ buying things for people when I didn’t have to. I made this mistake a lot more when I was 18/19, but I still make it all the time. I have spent so much money paying for my friends when I want to do something and they don’t have the money and that’s pretty dumb. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars buying food/coffee/concert tickets/etc. for people who never paid me back (and most of the time I didn’t ask them to). Sometimes -yeah- it’s nice to be nice, but its not necessary to do all the time.

I’m clearly not done making mistakes and dumb purchases and I’ve made way more than that, but those are my 5 biggest ones, I think. Don’t be like me.