Wander the Arctic

After the “polar vortex” in the Midwest a couple weeks ago, I was feeling a little crazy. Over that weekend, it was 50 degrees. That’s like, a 90 degree difference in a few days what the heck, Indiana?!). I decided on Sunday that I absolutely had to get out of the house. I didn’t just want to. I had to. I hopped in my car and just drove west on I-70. I decided I would stop when I found somewhere to explore. A little over an hour later, I found myself in Casey, IL staring at the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. Random right? 

When most people say they need to “get out of the house”, they go to the store. Not to another state. But I’m not most people. Clearly.

Casey, Illinois is known for “big things in a small town”. It is home to 8 of the worlds largest objects including : Wind Chimes, Rocking Chair, Mailbox, Golf Tee, Knitting Needles and Pitchfork. Casey is also home to several objects that may not be the World’s Largest, but are still pretty impressive such as: Pencil, Ruler and Bird Cage. These items are scattered around the small town and make for an entertaining walk through town, as well as some fun pictures.

Casey is a small town, like one stop light small, but it’s a cool place to check out if you are on 70 between St. Louis and Indianapolis. I was there on a Sunday, so many of the shops were closed, but I did get to go in a cute candy shop, Casey’s Candy Depot and Dollars n Sense, where I bought a postcard to mail myself from the World’s Largest Mailbox (big thank you to the man who gave me that idea). When I received it, it had a really neat stamp on it that says it was mailed from the World’s Largest Mailbox. If you are like me and you like just exploring random, cool little places, stop in Casey sometime, whether you are headed that was on I-70 or you are located somewhat close. There are big things to be seen in this small town, literally.

When I tell people that I blog and that I am working toward doing it full time, the response is generally “people still read blogs?” *screams eternally*

I’ve tried different online platforms before *flashback to cringey 2008 youtube channel*. I started blogging in August of 2017 because…well I had nothing better to do, as odd as that sounds. I always had a couple main things at the very top of my bucket list and during the summer of 2017, I did them both and thought “now what?”. I’ve always had a pretty fun life and I wanted to make it even more fun. Essentially, I started a blog as an excuse to do cool sh*t.

I know, I already recapped last year in a post (you can read it here) but I’m going to do it again (yayyyy). Last May, I decided to plaster my name and face all over this blog and post it on my personal social medias, something I was terrified to do before. I had my You Can Still Be Loved Without Loving Yourself post blow up for several days straight. I also published my first article. I was so excited about these things, that in the midst of the mental health crisis I had last spring, I decided to travel to Dayton, Ohio to learn all about WordPress and how to make better content. A week later, I had the opportunity to visit Toronto, something I guarantee I would not have done without my blog.

I log into this site to see hundreds of views most days. When I don’t post for a while, you guys check on me. The fact is that I am motivated to get out of bed and go places to make cool content. I pour my heart into every piece of content I create and I have never in my life put that kind of effort into anything I’ve done. Ever. THAT is why I still blog and I die a little inside every freaking time I have to explain why blogs are still relevant. (Also, fyi any time you search a recipe or a review or whatever it is you are trying to find, its most likely a blog. So yes, still relevant.)

Hello. It has definitely been a good minute since I posted something depression/BPD/bipolar related. Overall, I’ve been doing well. The best I’ve been in quite a while, actually. Married life is good. The cats are good. I quit my side job. My main job is good. Life is good.

I had a really interesting therapy session last week and I thought it would be a great topic for a post, or potentially even a series. As I was telling my therapist what I’ve been up to the past couple weeks since I’d seen her, she said that it sounded like I was “cleaning up my life”. Honestly, that’s exactly what I have been doing.

What I mean by “cleaning up my life” is cleaning up minor things in my life that impact me daily when they really don’t have to. I’ve been working on cleaning up some relationships. For example, the way I treated my best friend in high school still bothers me. We’re still acquaintances and occasionally we will have a really good talk. I reached out to her last week and now I have feel a lot more at peace with that situation. I also reached out to another friend I’ve been going through a rough patch with.

I’ve also been cleaning up my house, planning to make a home office so I can stop doing hours upon hours of work from my bed. I’m also cleaning up my content so I can get my brand more in line with my vision. I’ve been going to the gym and eating healthier so I can clean up my appearance a bit because to be completely (and slightly painfully and embarrassingly) honest, I have been struggling in that category for a while.

So.. cleaning up my life. It seems like a big project and to be honest, it is. I’m a very impatient person. I want everything to be fixed right now. But baby steps. I definitely feel more like myself these days and I’ve been happy.

I live in 1995 still and the title says it all. Okay- I don’t exclusively shoot on disposable. That would be incredibly difficult this day in age. But I love to do film photography and I would like to start incorporating more of it into my content.

Why do I still shoot film in 2019 when technology is so advanced and most film quality looks horrible compared to digital? Besides the fact that I love the vintage-y look that I get from disposable cameras, 35mm film and polaroid cameras, sometimes I enjoy just snapping a photo and moving on. I don’t particularly enjoy editing photos and I am guilty of getting caught up in trying to take the perfect photo to the point where I miss out on the moment. Yes, I know. You only get so many pictures, 27 to be exact. They are expensive ($10 camera, $10 film developing). You can’t just delete the ones you mess up. In a world filled with what sometimes feels like nothing but immediate gratification, it can be refreshing to spend a few days in suspense while I wait to see what my pictures look like. The pictures reflect what I was genuinely seeing and feeling in the moment they were captured. THAT is why I love film still.

Here are some of my disposables from my recent trip to Kauai:

These were shot on just a basic Fujifim Quick Snap Waterproof disposable camera that I picked up at the drugstore. They were developed by The Darkroom. The Darkroom sent me physical copies as well as stored digital copies online for me.

If you would like to see more of my film photography, follow my new film account on Instagram @PrincessOfPolaroid.

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