I’m Still Alive

Long time no see?!

I’ve gotten quite a few messages asking me where I’ve been/ am I ok? Yes. Yes I am! Thank you for caring enough to check on me. I love you.

So, where have I been? The short answer: busy. Very, very busy.

I’m getting married in 9 days and planning a wedding is basically a full time job, especially in the couple months leading up to it. Brace yourself for wedding posts and travel posts from my honeymoon! I am also working two jobs: my regular bank job and delivering pizzas on the side for wedding and travel money. Between my two jobs, my side writing projects and planning a wedding, I’ve barely had time to breathe. I’ve also taken up film photography as something I would like to get even better at. I’m also planning an epic trip for next spring. I’ve been feeling pretty great lately, aside from wedding anxiety. I’m not nervous about being married. I’m nervous about everyone staring at me while I get married because … well, just Phoebe things hahah.

I’m excited to get back to posting regularly again. I’ve missed blogging so, so much. Thank you for sticking with me during my 4 month (wow, I suck) hiatus.Incase you missed it, here is some side writing I’ve done since I’ve been gone:



And Cue the Alaska Posts…

I have a love/hate relationship with the “On This Day” feature on Facebook. Sometimes I get a kick out of seeing how dumb I was in 2009 but other times it reminds me of things I miss, like today for example. Facebook reminded me that a year ago today, I was on my way to Alaska. This also brings me full circle with Wander the Arctic. I started Wander the Arctic after I got back from Alaska in 2017 because I was searching for something positive to do with my life. Here I am, sitting in the same Starbucks, drinking the same mocha, on the same laptop, writing this post. Almost a year later. I believe I started Wander on September 9th (I came back August 27th) and I really want to do something special for it’s birthday. I just haven’t decided what yet. 

I am going to circle back to my very first post. I would give absolutely anything to feel the joy I felt on this day last year (August 18th). I do in a way though. Alaska was a big deal for me because it was one of the first times I ever embraced freedom from mental illness. Getting on that plane was like a huge middle finger to my depression. I’ve now accepted that it is possible to have freedom from my brain and I can wander wherever I want and I should see the world.

I miss the mountains and the wildlife. I miss the standing on a glacier. I miss drinking mochas every morning while staring at the mountains. I miss embracing the day for what it was, not my own personal agenda. Alaska 2019 is happening and remembering how much Alaska 2017 meant to me is my motivation for make this happen. I know I have several hurdles to jump over, as I have other trips planned and only so much time I can take off work. And bills. And a wedding. And school.Also, it was NOT cheap by any means. But I WILL get there. I will get back to the place that has my heart next year. Forgive me for how many Alaska posts that are going to go up this week and next. I can’t help it. I love Alaska with all my heart.

I Got Bit By a Dangerous Bug, again…

This week I got bit by a dangerous bug again… well… the travel bug. Okay, okay… that was probably the cheesiest thing I’ve ever written but hey, I got you to click on this post, right? Also, I promise to stop click-baiting you… eventually.

Obviously, I love to travel and this past week, the desire to travel has been strong. Strong enough for me to take a second (well, third I guess) job to put back money for a couple epic trips I am planning for 2019. I usually try to travel as much as possible, regardless of where its at (I usually just want to GO) but right now, I am actually going to buckle down for once and focus on a couple specific goals. I have a couple little trips just across state lines (or in one case, 10 minutes across the Canadian border) coming up this fall,  and of course, my honeymoon (incase you didn’t know, I’m getting married in December!).

Seeing the world has always been a priority for me but I’ve never actually been outside of North America, so naturally that’s my next goal. Don’t get me wrong, North America is beautiful! I mean, look at some of these pictures!

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

Natural Bridge, Aruba

Toronto, Canada

Denali National Park, Alaska

So here’s to hard work as ya girl works her lil booty off to get to Southeast Asia next year!

Life IS the Obstacles

Last night, I was laying in my bathtub flipping through Humble the Poet’s book, “Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life”, as I often do when I feel the need for a reality check coming on, and once again I was hand delivered a large, chalky pill to choke down.

“Life doesn’t start after the obstacles; life is the obstacles.” 

Dang. How many times have I told myself that things will be different (or better) once I get my sh*t together? How many times have you told yourself that?

When I was in college, I worked more than 40 hours every week and at one point was taking 18 credit hours in one semester. That would have been tough anyway. Even just doing one of those things is tough, let alone simultaneously. But I had the value of a speck of dirt at my job and it was pretty obvious to me (although that’s a different story for a different time). For two years, I told myself that things would get better when I was done with school. When I was done with school, my life would begin. I graduated from school and my life didn’t begin. I worked the same crappy job for months after I graduated until I one day gathered up enough self respect to quit and do something else. I took an entry level position in a field completely unrelated to my degree and sat back and waited for my life to begin. Three years later, I still work there. The only difference is, I’m no longer waiting for my life to begin. I recognize that my life began a long time ago -like, 25 years ago.

I always find myself making excuses for why I am not doing something. “I’ll do this when my house is clean”, “I’ll do this when I lose weight”, “I’ll do this when I’m married”. No. I need to do whatever I need to do now.

Obstacles don’t go away. You get past one only to come up on another. Think about it. If you have to wait for life to start after the obstacles, you’ll be dead before you get a chance to live. Thank you, Humble, for once again slapping me in the face with something I really needed to hear (and you’re welcome for slapping you in the face with it too).